How to find a therapist by a therapist

The person you trusted most in the world has broken your heart and betrayed you. You begin to doubt your own history, your ability to see the world as it is, you recognize that you hurt yourself by not seeing reality. Worse yet, your partner moves quickly into a new life without appearing to look back at all. You cry yourself to sleep, tear up at the sight of happy couples, examine every memory that you have looking for what you missed and are asking yourself “why?” You might look at your ex’s new love interest and wonder what they have that you don’t. You may lose your appetite, be unable to sleep and have trouble getting yourself to work. How do you stop ruminating about the past and begin to feel better? How do you get over your ex not loving you?

True self-care is not about indulgence. It’s not pampering yourself with a day at the spa or giving in to the urge to buy yourself a fancy coffee because you have a long day ahead of you. Maybe sometimes it IS indulgences, but if that is a habit rather than an occasional treat, it is likely that it is an escape or excuse rather than self-care.