Divorce is particularly painful for most people around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Most of us have at least a few happy memories about past holidays and these are reminders of what we have lost. These positive memories can make you doubt your decision to divorce and ignite that little voice inside that says, “maybe I could have tried x,y,z and it all would have worked out.” If you are a people pleaser, this continuous examination of your part of the past equation may make you weary and feel a little crazy.

If you are divorcing a narcissist, expect the fight of your life. You have already discovered this personality is not averse to playing dirty. They are in it to win it. They don’t think like you do, are interested only in guarding themselves and their image with little consideration for what’s fair or kind. You need to protect yourself from a narcissist in divorce.

Guilt can be defined as the negative feelings that arise because of behavior or the perception that a behavior is wrong. It’s an unpleasant emotion that keeps our morals in check. It is particularly painful in intimate relationships as we are witness to the impact of our behaviors on those we care about. Personally, as a couples therapist I felt guilty that I missed the warning signs of my own relationship’s demise. I also felt guilt about the impact of divorce on my children, who had their own journey with the pain. What I found by surveying divorced men and women is that we often feel guilty about things over which we have no control

An interview about midlife post marriage sex with author Laura Freedman Williams

The average first marriage that ends in divorce lasts about 8 years, about the average life of a new car. Divorce rates in the US are at nearly 50 percent for first marriages, and two thirds of them are initiated by women. With such dismal facts, it seems important to understand why marriages succeed or fail and how to know when it’s time to separate.

Like divorce isn’t hard enough, let’s throw in a pandemic? Seriously? My nervous system is already fried, thank you very much. My divorced self-esteem is circling the drain and still, my ex is pulling out all of their traditional “greatest hits” of bad behavior. The anxiety feels relentless.

Anxiety and divorce, dating after divorce, covid and divorce?

I married my first date. My second first date was at 47, after my decades long marriage ended abruptly.

Dating in your 40s after divorce is not for the faint of heart. I figured a few things out along the way that might be helpful.

“Rocked to the core- that's the phrase which comes to mind when describing my divorce. What I thought I had and how the future was going to look was blown to hell and replaced by sadness, a sadness of depths which I had never known. What I COULD NOT believe at the time, but it really came true, is that living a happy life after divorce is within reach.

Divorce, anxiety and panic attacks are close bedfellows-there’s no getting around that. You’re launched on an unpredictable, emotional roller coaster ride. Your soon be ex’s reactive trance has stripped all compassion leaving you with a racing heart, waking in the night, sweaty palms, foggy thinking, nausea- feeling like you’re under attack,questioning your mental health, fear that you’re losing your mind? Check, check and check.

We have no good pattern either for being divorced or for dealing with divorced women. The end of a marriage, whether by divorce or by death, is an event to mourn, but the community is not sufficiently sensitive to the divorced woman's need for a mourning ritual and for grief support.

This blog outlines the emotional stages of divorce from denial through acceptance.

As brutal as a divorce can be, my divorce was a journey of transformation. Interestingly, it was much like walking the Camino de Santiago. A pilgrim sets sights on arriving at the end goal, some with life learnings that are invaluable, transformed by pain and hardship, touched by love and kindness. This was the hope and expectation for my marriage.