The person you trusted most in the world has broken your heart and betrayed you. You begin to doubt your own history, your ability to see the world as it is, you recognize that you hurt yourself by not seeing reality. Worse yet, your partner moves quickly into a new life without appearing to look back at all. You cry yourself to sleep, tear up at the sight of happy couples, examine every memory that you have looking for what you missed and are asking yourself “why?” You might look at your ex’s new love interest and wonder what they have that you don’t. You may lose your appetite, be unable to sleep and have trouble getting yourself to work. How do you stop ruminating about the past and begin to feel better? How do you get over your ex not loving you?

If you are divorcing a narcissist, expect the fight of your life. You have already discovered this personality is not averse to playing dirty. They are in it to win it. They don’t think like you do, are interested only in guarding themselves and their image with little consideration for what’s fair or kind. You need to protect yourself from a narcissist in divorce.

Guilt can be defined as the negative feelings that arise because of behavior or the perception that a behavior is wrong. It’s an unpleasant emotion that keeps our morals in check. It is particularly painful in intimate relationships as we are witness to the impact of our behaviors on those we care about. Personally, as a couples therapist I felt guilty that I missed the warning signs of my own relationship’s demise. I also felt guilt about the impact of divorce on my children, who had their own journey with the pain. What I found by surveying divorced men and women is that we often feel guilty about things over which we have no control

The average first marriage that ends in divorce lasts about 8 years, about the average life of a new car. Divorce rates in the US are at nearly 50 percent for first marriages, and two thirds of them are initiated by women. With such dismal facts, it seems important to understand why marriages succeed or fail and how to know when it’s time to separate.

Like divorce isn’t hard enough, let’s throw in a pandemic? Seriously? My nervous system is already fried, thank you very much. My divorced self-esteem is circling the drain and still, my ex is pulling out all of their traditional “greatest hits” of bad behavior. The anxiety feels relentless.

Anxiety and divorce, dating after divorce, covid and divorce?