How To Find A Therapist
Finding a therapist takes patience, persistence and intuition and the process can be daunting. Here are a few suggestions for how to get started finding a therapist.
What is important to know when finding a therapist?
1. Get clear about what issue you want to address in therapy so you can target professionals with that expertise.
Finding a therapist that specializes in ADHD is a good idea if you know that is an issue, for example. It’s also okay to have a very general goal and not know exactly what the problem is and go with an open mind about exploring it. An experienced therapist can help you discover the specific issue. Knowing that you are unhappy in your relationship might get you into therapy, but you might also begin to learn that you need better communication and problem-solving skills, or that you are suffering from depression. The therapy process can help make your goals and issues more apparent.
Decide if you want to work in person or if you are open to teletherapy. If you are in a rural area, teletherapy may provide a much wider range of people available in your state.
2. Assess your financial resources.
It will be helpful to understand your coverage options and budget. Licensed therapists are limited to working in the states in which they are licensed, though some may be licensed in multiple states.
If you plan to use your insurance, call your insurance company, and ask about coverage for therapy related to the issue you want to address. Many insurance companies, for example, will cover treatment related to specific diagnoses like depression or ADHD but may not cover marital therapy. Ask the insurance company what your deductible will be and what portion of the fee will be covered. Ask if they accept out of network providers as some therapists do not bill insurance companies but will give you a “super bill” that you can submit for reimbursement. Also ask for a list of providers that take their insurance in your geographical area. Take this list to a trusted source, such as a friend or your doctor, and ask them if they can help you identify someone that would be good to work with your issues.
If you can afford to pay out of pocket for sessions, you may get in sooner and have access to more experienced therapists or particular types of therapy that insurance may not cover. Prices typically are $100-200/hr. depending on the location. App based teletherapy may be less but some of the common complaints are therapist turnover and burnout, feeling rushed, lack of specialty training, lack of personal matching and privacy concerns. Expect to pay more for a therapist that is very experienced and even if the hourly rate is higher, you may find that you get to the root of your issues more quickly or have better outcomes.
Free or low-cost treatment is also available in community mental health settings or nonprofits and may be available to people on Medicaid, social security for disability or without insurance coverage. Some health centers also receive federal funds and may offer lower fees. You can check out this resource to find providers in your area. Even if you choose free care, you still can choose from different providers and can select one that feels like a better fit for you.
You may also have access to EAP, or employee assistance programs, through your employer. Ask your human resource department about this. Usually this is 3-5 no cost sessions with a provider that also will work with your health insurance and can continue treatment after the initial sessions are used.
3. Educate yourself about credentials and specialties.
Google psychological treatment for your specific issue and see what is recommended. For example, childhood trauma experiences will be more successfully treated with EMDR or other types of trauma treatment that do not include just talk therapy. Understand that medications are prescribed by psychiatrists or nurse practitioners, not other therapists. Psychology Today has a great search engine that will allow you to search in your geographical area by specialty, gender, insurance company, type of therapy, etc. If you have a sense of your issues you can search for different modalities like CBT or EMDR. You can also ask friends, family, clergy, or primary care doctors for referrals. Sometimes dropping the name of one of these individuals can help you get an appointment more quickly with a busy practitioner.
It is also helpful to check on the status of a license with the state board to see if they have an active license or if they have any board complaints. You can find out more about this here.
4. Assess the fit both personally and culturally.
This may be the most important part of finding a therapist that works for you and where your intuition will come in handy. Look online for info about personal experience and interests that may be clues about who this person is and what they value. It used to be that therapists were taught to be a blank slate for perspective clients and were encouraged to keep their personal details private, but that has changed over time. Many therapists share more personal knowledge with clients now. Knowing that your therapist has a similar cultural background, for example, might help you feel more confident that they will understand your unique position. Don’t be afraid to ask questions when you call for an initial consultation. Look at the reviews and take into consideration that reviews tend to be from two sources: those who rave and those who have an axe to grind. You can keep these comments in mind as you form your own opinion.
5. Be persistent about making an appointment.
Therapists run small businesses often without support staff, and most are overwhelmed by demand. They may be slow to call you back. Call again and leave another message with times to reach you. If you are having a tough time following through, maybe because you are feeling depressed, ask a friend or family member to do some research for you and set up a phone consultation.
6. Interview perspective therapists to determine the fit.
Most therapists offer a free 15-minute phone consultation. During this call, ask about their experience and expertise with your issue. You can also ask questions about how many sessions they think you might need, what kind of success they have had working with issues like yours, and particular questions about how they work with clients. For example, I often share that I am direct and don’t ask a lot of open-ended questions and I give homework, so my clients are thinking about their work outside of the session. While you are talking with this person, listen to how they talk and see if you relate to their style, ask yourself if you feel respected and if you trust them, listen for expertise and confidence in addressing your issue. You can also ask personal questions like “do you have children of your own?” or “have you been married?” Some therapists may be uncomfortable answering personal questions and will let you know. Make sure you understand their fees, how much they charge for missed sessions, where their location is if they are meeting in person, and their emergency availability. A specific degree, years in practice, or a specific modality is not necessarily a better choice. Feeling comfortable with the way they communicate is much more indicative of successful outcome.
If you are conducting the search by email, introduce yourself and explain your goals or concerns and why you are reaching out. Ask if they have availability and are willing to work with your insurance or issue. Ask for a phone consultation and leave your phone number.
7. Go for 3-5 sessions and decide if this is a relationship that will work for you in the long term.
One study interviewed two thousand adults and the average person sees three therapists before finding a good fit. Finding a fit with a therapist is an important part of the progress you can expect. If you do not trust them or their skills, you are not likely to open up, be as vulnerable or make as much progress.The topics in therapy are not always comfortable, but listen to your gut about how you feel about the relationship with the counselor. It should feel safe and judgement free. Some people book appointments with multiple therapists, so they have a point of comparison. If you decide not to return, let them know why. This is a chance to practice direct communication with someone that is receptive.
The fit is essential.
Finding a therapist can be a daunting task with life changing results that are worth the work. If at any point you decide you don’t feel comfortable with this person, let them know it isn’t a good fit for you and start the process over. Finding a good therapist is a personal matter and what you need may vary with life circumstances. Human connection is the root of good therapy, and you can build a sense of connection regardless of whether it is face to face or online. Trust your gut.
Holly Herzog is a therapist, coach and writer who has been a practicing licensed professional in the US for over 30 years. She specializes in all issues that are relationship oriented, especially the relationship with yourself. After the ending of a decades long relationship, she found herself in need of the tools and a community that she now provides for other women with her newest venture, Grace Untethered. She offers support to women in midlife going through a divorce with encouragement to grow with integrity, grace and compassion.
Her divorce e-course, Stagger, Stumble and Stand is chock-full of tips about how to heal your heart after a break up. It comes with hours of entertaining video instruction, pdfs, and meditations. If you are interested in individual or group coaching, contact her. She has a new women’s divorce coaching groups starting soon. Maybe focus on healing your childhood issues and beginning to date? You don’t need to do this alone.
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